Some marriages go on longer than they should. A common reason for this is that parents believe it is better for the children if they remain married despite their marriage as unfulfilling. This is supported by dated or studies and thinking on the harmful impact a divorce can have upon a family. However, there now is compelling evidence that the strain of a dysfunctional marriage has can have an equal or more significant negative impact.
Divorced parents typically have a parenting plan that dictates a daily, weekly, and yearly schedules for visitation and fulfilling obligations. In recent but pre-COVID times, there was likely communication between parents on smartphones, computers, or some other predetermined digital method.
It is natural for couples to disagree on certain things, but there may be a so-called “last straw” where the differences become irreconcilable. It is often thought of as a final dramatic transgression, possibly after a warning of consequences. The hurtful action prompts a partner to realize that the pain and frustration of maintaining the relationship are now greater than ending that relationship.
Marital relationships have endless nuances to them. They are a reflection of the people involved, their shared history and other factors. It can result in a seeming mind-meld where the spouses can read body language in a split second or ongoing incidences where differences surface (which some believe keeps life interesting).
Many couples who file for divorce choose to resolve any areas in a dispute using mediation or other alternate dispute resolution techniques. However, couples may not see eye to eye on some crucial areas, such as custody or dividing assets. This leads to litigation before a judge. This more formal approach has the benefit of leaving decisions to an impartial third party, but it can add stress to the situation.
Trust is an essential part of every healthy marriage, yet about 10% of spouses lie to their partner every day. Sometimes this is intentional with complicity – telling a spouse they look just as young as when you met 20 years ago certainly qualifies as a fib that both of you are in on. Sometimes a spouse lies to avoid discussing an upsetting topic like a bad day at work that has no bearing on the marriage.
There are natural ebbs and flows to every marriage or relationship. We are all aware of this on a conscious level or subconscious level. While most ride these ebbs and flows, there may come a time when a spouse will wonder if their partner had a bad day or the partner is no longer interested in spending time with their spouse.
The current living situation for many families means that they have spent a lot of time quarantined together. Ideally, this shared adversity enables the family to grow closer. Still, living, working and sleeping in the same space can mean growing too close for comfort, perhaps offering new insights into a spouse.
Many families have enjoyed their uninterrupted time together in quarantine. However, there is a growing concern that the stress of the times mixed with tenuous relationships and tight quarters could lead to an uptick in domestic violence in homes not safe for spouses or children. This is based on data in France (which has seen a 30% jump in reports of domestic violence) and other countries around the world as well as reports from New York, Washington, DC, and San Francisco.
Character flaws come in many forms, and sometimes it is a combination. The latter is the case when a new study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, which determined that those who cheat on a partner judge other cheaters more harshly. Psychologists attribute this to what is called a “self-serving bias.”