Divorces involve major changes in the couple’s lives. One or both may have moments of sharp anger and lingering pain as each spouse mourns the end of the relationship and other related life goals. Sometimes this can bring out the worst in a person, leading to an escalating series of confrontations that culminates with litigation.
Some people go through life shutting every metaphorical door they go through. It means that they drop high school friends in favor of college friends. They drop college friends in favor of work friends. It means they delete or block the numbers of ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends.
It has long been accepted wisdom that divorces likely scar the children for life. This fear prompts parents to remain in a loveless marriage, which some believe can be just as damaging over time. The thinking here is that children model their relationships and marriages on the dysfunctional marriages of their parents.
There are countless reasons why couples choose mediation when filing for divorce. Many like the fact that they can draft their own arrangement. Many like that it is often less expensive and takes less time than litigation. Many like the less confrontational approach where the two sides work together to resolve any differences. While not involving a trial, the agreement is still legally binding when couples sign an agreement.
Mediation is often used for couples filing for divorce these days. Whereas litigation before a judge was the traditional way of doing things, this format has several benefits, most notably it keeps the case out of court. This means that the couple does not have to wait their turn in a crowded court schedule, and that faster resolution keeps the attorney expenses down as well. Families like it because it is less combative and enables the two sides to resolve their issues in a collaborative manner rather than leaving it to a judge. While litigation means public records, mediation is done behind closed doors and thus keeps the details of the split private.
One of the myriad decisions co-parents have to make includes what children will do in their free time in certain extracurricular activities. Sports and athletic endeavors make up a large percentage of activities for children.
Many people have heard the term Alternative Dispute Resolution but very few, out side of those who practice within the legal system, know what it means.
In our last post we discussed some of the methods to improve your co-parenting arrangement after a divorce. Here are some additional general considerations that we believe are also helpful to support collaborative communication and parenting.
Faced with an uncertain future, people in the midst of a divorce often allow their fears to dictate their actions, when the focus for any divorcing parent should be what is best for their children in an especially difficult time. When you have children with your soon-to-be-ex, it is critical to develop an effective parenting approach for after the divorce. Believe it or not, many separated couples are able to effectively collaboratively parent their children by approaching child-rearing with a team approach.
Having some control over the amount you spend on your divorce or custody matter is important. Many people do not understand that clients have an important role to play in their own legal expenses and fees.