Marriage is a partnership, and part of that deal is picking the partner up when they get knocked down. This can mean you console them if something doesn’t go well at work or something doesn’t go their way. But some people are inconsolable or depressed regardless of what a husband or wife says or does to cheer them up.
Identifying the issue
Spouses can and should be supportive, but challenges like past trauma, addiction, depression, concern over their physical appearance, or feelings about an unfulfilled career can often best be addressed by working with professional therapists. Symptoms that a spouse is troubled include:
- They will blame you for their unhappiness.
- They will try to pick fights.
- They will be unpleasant to be around.
- They will have extreme mood swings.
- They may talk about suicide.
They may need professional help
This all can do serious and sometimes irreparable damage to the marriage and family. Some spouses become masters at managing a wife’s anger issues or a husband’s addiction. They may even tell themselves that they are saving the marriage as they do it. Others will become increasingly frustrated and leave. Still, others feel hopeless about a solution and see the marriage as a failure they are stuck with.
A troubled spouse can take steps on their own by recognizing the behavior and seeking the help they need with the entire family’s encouragement. A spouse bearing the brunt of the problematic or abusive behavior can learn more about the issue, whether it is depression, addiction, or other challenges. A wife can stand by and support a husband during a difficult time, and she can encourage treatment or therapy.
It may be time to leave
It may be time to separate if the husband does not seek help, or the behavior does not change. It is definitely the case if they are a danger to others or themselves. Enabling their behavior does them no favors and raising a family with a partner who has untreated mental health issues can harm the children and yourself. You may even need to file for divorce if they refuse to help themselves.
