Marrying for the second time may be the last thing on the mind of someone getting or recently divorced. But there may be a time further down the line when there is the opportunity. Some may regard it as a do-over for an arrangement that did not work the first time or feel most fulfilled when they have a life partner.
However, others regard the concept of lawful marriage with all the trimmings to be a mistake that they do not need to repeat. Some may worry that the formal arrangement could negatively impact something that was already working. They may even recognize that a partner is not marrying material, and they are comfortable with that.
The decision of marriage should be something that a couple discusses before or after the proposal. This may seem to sidetrack the romance element in this most romantic of actions – a long-term commitment to love, honor and cherish – but being forthright and honest is a cornerstone for every working relationship.
5 matters to consider or discuss
Each couple and individual have their own concerns, but some common ones include:
- The reason: Make sure that both partners are doing it for the right reasons. The wrong reasons include financial support or fear of being alone.
- The kids: Blended families can work, but it is often a complicated dance. The parents will need to think ahead about whether marriage to this person would be good or bad for the children.
- The finances: There may be an opportunity to consolidate under one roof and save that money spent on house payments, but financial independence leads to self-confidence, self-love and stronger relationships.
- The timing: Rushing into a second marriage before the wounds of the previous one heal can be a mistake. It is often best to wait for things to stabilize for parents and kids. Do not let someone insist on rushing.
- The person: This the big one where the heart and the head both see no red flags. Any feelings of hesitation should be carefully analyzed.
A well-planned divorce can make this easier
Divorced coparents or former spouses who have working relationships will often draw upon this much-needed support when choosing to remarry. It can start with a fair and equitable divorce and a parenting plan that works for the kids and parents. Having these parts of their lives in good working order reduces the stress upon a second marriage and can provide tools that enable it to succeed.
