Divorces involve major changes in the couple’s lives. One or both may have moments of sharp anger and lingering pain as each spouse mourns the end of the relationship and other related life goals. Sometimes this can bring out the worst in a person, leading to an escalating series of confrontations that culminates with litigation.
While there will be some difficult challenges as the spouses rebuild their lives, spouses can make it easier on themselves and their former partner by taking a more collaborative approach. Many attorneys recommend mediation as an excellent option for fostering a collaborative process, particularly when there are children involved.
Less stress and more care
Here are tips for a saner and healthier divorce:
- Make the right decision: Marital difficulties do not automatically mean divorce. Couples can seek counseling to resolve the underlying issue or help the couple understand why they grew apart.
- Maintain love and respect: It may be hard to do this if the relationship is damaged (perhaps due to hurtful actions), but try to enter the process with a loving and positive mindset. This will help the children with their transition and cause less stress for the parents.
- Find some common goals: A common example would be the wellbeing of the children. These goals can help focus the divorce, resolve matters more quickly and identify where additional work is necessary.
- Pick the right approach: Litigation is not the only option. Mediation is increasingly common because it is less expensive, less stressful and faster. There are different types, but typically both sides work with a neutral mediator. Each side may still use attorneys during mediation.
Some attorneys are comfortable with this format
Some lawyers can achieve fair and equitable settlements using mediation by working with the client to determine goals or priorities. The family law attorney can then work collaboratively with the other side to find solutions to areas in dispute. This process can also help couples prepare for the next phase of their lives as they continue to coparent the children.