It has long been accepted wisdom that divorces likely scar the children for life. This fear prompts parents to remain in a loveless marriage, which some believe can be just as damaging over time. The thinking here is that children model their relationships and marriages on the dysfunctional marriages of their parents.
Why can a bad marriage be worse than divorce?
Some believe that parents often become preoccupied with their internal struggle to maintain the status quo while still projecting blame on others for their predicament. It can lead them to withdraw and not give the children the attention that they need and deserve. The child, in turn, can feel abandoned and alone as they struggle with their own emotions.
Focus on what is important
Such necessities as putting a roof over their head, food on the table and positive educational opportunities are essential to a child’s well-being. Nevertheless, conscious coparents can and should strive to ensure that their children are well adjusted, confident, independent, and engaged. These traits are tools that can serve the children well as they move through life. They can help with:
- Conflict management
This is a conscious decision
Consciously moving through the divorce process means a mutual willingness to focus on common ground and build from there. This leads to a meeting in the middle, where the parents make decisions fairly and respectfully. This unified energy often provides a greater sense of serenity and stability for the entire family, but especially the children.
This strategy can lead to smooth sailing
This conscious approach does not eliminate problems, but it enables the family to meet challenges together. During a divorce, mediation complements this approach because it allows for coparents to consciously create solutions together on important issues like custody, time management, responsibility, communication, and financial agreements.
Some lawyers are comfortable using mediation and a low conflict approach because they have seen the positive results it yields. Those interested in this approach should discuss it with an attorney during an initial consultation to ensure they agree upon this approach.