It may seem like a dream to be home with spouse or partner, but some couples embrace the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” paradox. All this togetherness can make it more complicated, and it may seem like adding gasoline to the fire if there are a couple of kids who need constant supervision. Some or all of this can cause doubts or bring a shaky relationship to its knees.
11 tips for making it work
Marriages and long-term relationships with cohabitation involve many benefits and challenges. Some important things to remember:
- Talk amongst yourselves: Close quarters and constant companionship will likely wear on at least one of you. Accept that you will get annoyed and talk about what the triggers are.
- Patience is a virtue: The stress of the times certainly amps up nervous behavior, so couples should be extra patient with each other’s quirks.
- The more nervous one wins: If you have different levels of anxiety, accommodate the more anxious one in the relationship.
- Time apart is good: It is okay or even right that you don’t share everything because time alone is good for reflection. Go for a run, do yoga in an empty room or embrace some “me” time.
- Schedule date night: There are limited options, but do something out of the ordinary, such as ordering take out or play a game.
- Family fun: Build a fort in the middle of the living room with the kids or have a pillow fight.
- Small surprises: Be extra generous by committing an act of kindness that lightens the moment.
- Maintain intimacy: Stress can reduce your libido, but sex can strengthen the couple’s bonds and is a great stress reliever.
- Schedule gripe sessions: All that positivity is a good thing, but it is also good to vent, so pick a time every few days to let it out.
- Avoid absolute statements: Sentences that start with “You never…” or “You always…” put them on the defensive and imply judgment.
- Say goodnight: Put a positive spin on things by ending the day with hugs and kisses.
What if it doesn’t work?
Unfortunately, sometimes no amount of positive actions can save a withering relationship. If this is the case, it may be time to speak with a family law attorney here in Colorado about divorce or splitting up. Since the courts will be packed for some time, a couple willing to mediate their split may have the most equitable and quickest solution.