Setting boundaries when co-parenting

Family experts and the courts agree that co-parenting is the best approach to raising children if the parents file for divorce. Ideally, this will involve effortless planning, seamless transitions between homes, and parents who are on the same page when it comes to goals for raising the children and rules for doing it. The reality, however, is that it will take effort, but it is possible.

It will be necessary to reset the family dynamic in the post-divorce reality. Some family experts believe the best place to start this process is by setting some clear boundaries that will actually be a benefit for all involved. Clear strategies can go a long way towards reducing confusion and stress for both kids and parents.

Significant issues to start with

The needs of each family are different, but family experts pinpoint these as good places to start:

  • Set limits on conversation topics: Stick to the important business of raising the family and avoid personal issues or grievances about each other’s families.
  • Have regular communication: This should not be done during pick-ups when kids are within earshot, and it should not be sending texts at all hours of the day. Instead, try to have a regularly scheduled check-in.
  • Invite them when appropriate: Try to include ex’s in activities, school events, family gatherings, and extracurricular activities. Be sure to provide ample time so they can plan to attend.
  • No judgment: There will be mistakes and oversights. Nevertheless, it is best to keep opinions to oneself, particularly if children are around.

The divorce can set the tone

Couples going through a divorce often best serve the interests of the entire family when they work together to resolve disputes during the divorce process constructively. Building on that foundation with the above tips can further lead to a healthy dynamic that will serve the family for years to come.

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