Some who file for divorce cannot wait to get back to dating, while others have zero interest. Most will likely be somewhere between these two poles, so it is worth contemplating. Those who want to get back out there may have some experience in creating a dating profile for one of the various platforms. Perhaps it was even an online dating profile that introduced you to your future ex.
Those were likely more carefree times with no kids and maybe fewer employment demands, so reentering the dating scene probably involves presenting a different person — ideally, one who is older and wiser but still funny, smart and attractive.
But how does a newly divorced 41-year-old display the right message for attracting mister or miss right on Tinder, Bumble or Match.com? Some researchers investigated this question and came up with some interesting findings about what people find attractive in a dating profile.
A picture is not worth 1,000 words
Many will be surprised to learn there is growing evidence that readers of a dating profile pay close attention to the details of the writing, assessing attentiveness and intelligence on correct grammar, spelling and lack of typos. A great photo certainly helps the cause, but focusing on details makes the person seem more intelligent.
Researchers had thought that casual language and use of emoticons would project a warmer profile, but they found that 88% of women and 75% of men ranked correct use of grammar and proper spelling higher than such traits as confidence and good teeth. The explanation given was that small clues like error-free writing have a heightened emphasis when there is no face-to-face interaction.
Fools rush in
Some may panic at the thought of being alone after a divorce. However, relationship experts cite many reasons for taking it slow. These include:
- It is healthier to focus on you
- It allows you to avoid repeating past mistakes
- You learn to forgive and trust again
- A year on your own is a good rule of thumb before getting serious with someone else
Everyone is different
Only you will know when the circumstances are right for dating again. After working on yourself for a while, polish a profile that captures your essence and wait. It may take some time, but patience almost always pays off in the long run.