Many filing for divorce wonder if they will ever date or find love again. However, couples who come from the same social circle or married for an extended period may also wish to widen their group of friends. The reasons for this are varied, including spending less time with an ex in social situations or trying to redefine one’s internal and external identity.
Craving meaningful friendship and community is as old as time, but we seem to have moved away from it as we strive to build online brands or seek social connections in the digital realm. In light of this shift, experts believe that we need to rediscover our skills for finding new friends, differentiating good friends from bad ones, and being a good friend to others.
Insights on friendship
Below are some tips and strategies that can be helpful:
- Accept the awkwardness of a situation: Most assume that other people have more friends or are better at making them, but the initial attempt to connect with a new neighbor or a coworker can be awkward for nearly all of us. Accept that it may not be free-flowing at first.
- They will like you more than you think they will: People tend to be hard on themselves, being overly critical of their own looks, social patter and behavior. Do not listen to that voice in your head.
- Connect with those with a similar interest: Do this by taking a class, joining a bike or ski club, or even connecting with fellow parents at a child’s soccer game or school activity. This shared interest provides you with something to talk about.
- It may take effort: Some friends like to lean on each other, and that’s okay. Invest the time in them if it feels good to do so.
- Be present: This is a big ask for some. Show an interest in what they do and listen to what they say. Ideally, parents already use this skill with their children, and adults likely will appreciate it as much or more than the children.
- Be open: Be suspicious of those who literally or figuratively try to sell you something, but do not dismiss them simply because that person attempted to strike up a conversation.
Trusted guidance during a time of change
Those facing divorce often will wonder who their “real” friends are, often finding out as the process concludes and the new journey begins. Like a good friend, family law attorney provides trusted opinions and guidance during these difficult times. The difference, of course, is that the information comes from a professional with a background in family law matters here in Colorado or elsewhere.