Divorce is a stressful time often filled with conflict. While we all like to think that we gracefully rise to the occasion in a time of conflict, that may not be true at first. People react to pressure in different ways, and sometimes those responses are not consistent with who they usually are. Suddenly, a logical and level-headed adult turns into a screaming or irrational person they do not recognize.
According to experts, these responses to conflict or the threat of conflict can be a matter of a lack of experience addressing disputes with serious implications, which leaves them unsure of how to behave. Many may not realize that resolving disputes is a choice where it can be done in a positive or a negative manner.
Reframing the narrative
Various forms of mediation can help reframe the dispute. While an experienced family law attorney helps devise a strategy, clients can also consciously think about who they want to be as they address and resolve this life-changing conflict. A set of questions can help them determine their answer:
- What is this conflict really about?
- Was there behavior you did not like or recognize as negotiations began?
- What is at the root of this negative behavior?
- Would a different approach result in a different and better outcome?
- Would you like this behavior witnessed by family, friends or colleagues who look up to you?
- How can you ensure more effective behavior in addressing conflicts next time?
Building a new future
It is tempting to go into battle with a take-no-prisoners attitude, but many ex-spouses still must work together to raise a family. While a knowledgeable attorney will be immensely helpful for equitably resolving matters during the divorce process, a spouse who can address conflict in a healthful manner helps themselves and their family.