Divorce impacts and changes many parts of your life. Some changes are tangible, such as moving to a new home or a formal coparenting plan, while others are more emotionally-based. Even under the best of circumstances, there may be moments of doubt where this significant change (even if you initiated) can take a toll on one’s confidence.
Here are some highlights from a larger list of choices, acts or gestures that help build that confidence back up. This ideally leads to acceptance of the circumstances and happiness with whom you see in the mirror.
Changes you can make
Some are minor adjustments while others may take an attitude adjustment:
- Wear clothes that fit: Regardless of your size, properly fitting clothes exude a sense of confidence and comfort. If you have put on weight, change your clothing size so you can feel comfortable. If you have lost weight, don’t hide it by swimming in your old clothes.
- Shoes and accessories: Making cool or interesting choices offer additional opportunities to outwardly express your personality and share your stong sense of confidence. If it’s a new look for you, you may be happy with the responses you receive or get a sense of freedom to explore.
- Eat a healthy diet: The fuel you put in your body makes you look and feel better. Such super foods as blueberries, spinach, kale, salmon, quinoa, chia seeds, broccoli and goji berries can provide energy, aid in digestion, and help prevent chronic disease.
- Read more: Keep up to date on the news or read a popular biography. This enables readers to feel like they are more on top of things or “in the loop.” It will also provide discussion topics as you venture out socially.
- Exercise: The combination of self-care and healthy activity can add balance to your life, particularly in times of transition. It can give you a sense of stability to know that at least that part of your day is predictable. We all know that exercise is an excellent method for managing stress.
- Be the best parent you can be: Your children will be going through a difficult time so it is doubly important to be there for them. Do not use your child as your best friend or rely too heavily on him or her when you struggle with the life change. Your children need to see from you that change does not have to be bad.
- Improve your work performance: Perhaps you have been coasting a bit because you are preoccupied with the divorce, or, perhaps you have to now join the workforce after some time as a stay at home parent. Whatever your situation, it is important to refocus on your career as this will bring you pride and stability.
- It will also help manage the financial stress that usually accompanies divorce.Random acts of kindness: It is easy to get pulled into the feeling isolation and self-pity. Take some time to make others feel appreciated and loved. Being kind to others often makes one feel better about themselves. Find ways to do at least one kind act for someone each day.
- Stay in touch with friends: Part of your new normal will be having period of time without your children., , Spend some of that downtime with the people who have been a part of your support network or take time to meet new friends if your support system has been a little lacking They can help pick you up and sometimes help with necessary course corrections. Some good ideas are to join a club or attend a meet-up activity. Getting out of the house and into the world will help you move forward with your new normal.
- Date someone who appreciates you: Don’t give up on relationships. A healthy one is good for the spirit. Do not rush into a relationship simply to avoid the feeling of loneliness, but just as old friends are important, new ones can help you find the new you.
Find something that works for you
Filing for divorce is a time of transition, but it is also a time to explore and work on yourself. Consider these tips as a starting point and adapt them as needed. It’s also good to find new ones that work for you.