Teaching children to express gratitude is something that starts very early on. We live in a society where appreciation and kindness are often rewarded with positive social outcomes such as friendship or workplace promotions. If people are attuned to the benefits of gratitude in daily life, why is it that some couples struggle to show gratitude in their marriage? Unsprisingly, saying thank you in your marriage also carries rewards.
In a recently published study, co-author Ted Futris describes their findings as such: “We found that feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last.”
These findings were the result of a telephone survey of 498 married individuals. As evidenced in the responses, it appears that couples who show gratitude are able to better weather typical marital storms. That showing of appreciation, although it may seem small and insignificant, goes a long way and is crucial to a successful and lasting marriage.
Signs of trouble ahead
Many couples fail to discuss their needs or discuss with one another their issues int eh marriage. Successful couples do. Couples should make time to openly and honestly discuss the state of their union to better avoid communication breakdowns. In addition to regular communication and shows of appreciation, it’s important that you know if you might be predisposed to divorce. Here are some potential contributing factors, explained in depth here.
- You married too early, or too late in life
- Unemployed male partner
- One partner's parents are divorced
- Partner's voice sounds strained
- Dismissive partner
Partners in a marriage with more appreciation have an easier time letting the little things slide that can derail other marriages. In a more positive environment, it’s easier to remember why you got together in the first place and places couples in a better position for a lasting relationship.