Denver Colorado Family Law Blog

Divorce can be one of the most difficult challenges that any of us ever face. This is especially true if the spouse intentionally or unintentionally makes matters worse with their actions. Perhaps this behavior was the cause of the marriage's demise, or maybe it's a new. Either way, marriage experts and therapists agree that it's crucial to take steps to protect yourself and your well-being during this unnecessarily difficult process.

7 issues to consider

The divorce process is demanding on many levels. There are important decisions to be made, providing comfort to the kids during this time of transition, worrying about the uncertainty of what comes next, and maybe even moving to a different home. It is a lot. These were all priorities, and some may linger for months or years. But sooner or later, the mother needs to focus on themselves, which can be particularly hard for parents who routinely set aside their needs to take care of the family.

The instructions to put on the airplane mask before assisting others may not apply, but mothers help themselves and others if they take time to care for themselves. Each divorce is as different as the couples going through it. Some will be a slow slog that leaves the family depressed; others can be a moment of enlightenment where a tremendous weight was lifted.

Sometimes divorces occur because a spouse has a borderline personality disorder (BPD) that makes him or her impossible to live with. Nevertheless, the disorder might be undiagnosed, or they still function well enough to hold a job as well as get joint allocation of decision making and parenting time rights. This means that you not only face the challenge of raising children as a divorced parent but one who has to deal with an unreliable co-parent with a disorder.

What are the symptoms?

One of the hardest parts of getting a divorce is making smart decisions. Smart decisions often start with a couple who is willing to mediate their divorce and find areas of compromise during this process. Sometimes couples will fight over things of little financial value because of sentimental attachment, or, worse, they know the other spouse has an emotional attachment. But even in the most civilized divorce negotiation, there can be times when a spouse has to draw the line about what is acceptable and what is not.

Some may assume that every part of the marital estate is up for serious negotiation, but this is not true. Nor is every arrangement going to seem fair to both parties. Colorado, for example, is a state that divides assets “equitably and fairly” which is not the same as a half-half split. This leaves some room for negotiation, but the chances are that the spouse who earns more money will end up with more money regardless of how hard a spouse and their attorney fight for half.